Meet Atlanta's Secret Weapon

[BANNAK]

Atlanta, Georgia.

While the pending and ongoing investigations into racial profiling and abuse by the Hawks' management group has put a damper on the team's hot start to the new season, many pundits around the league have begun to appreciate the style of play the team embodies. There is a definite focus on the team atmosphere down in Atlanta, and it can be attributed to one secret weapon.

But before we reveal the identity of this weapon, first we need look to why such a weapon is needed in the first place. Many commentators are quick to notice the large overseas, and mainly European, contingent of the Hawks. The starting lineup, for instance, is made up of 4 foreigners, with Dan Majerle being the sole American in the starting five. Artamonov (Ukraine), Stojakovic (Croatia/Serbia), Bender (Croatia) and Burjanadze (Georgia) round out the starting squad, bringing together a unique melting pot of both language and play-style.

It comes as no surprise that the Hawks offense focuses on a very uptempo style of play, with an emphasis placed on spreading the court with the abundance of shooters the team currently has at their disposal. This allows crafty point guard Klym Artamonov the necessary room to drive and kick, as well as operate a very lethal pick and pop combination with Dragan Bender. Thunder Dan Majerle and Peja Stojakovic hang out on the wings ready to receive kick outs, while Beka Burjanadze runs around the paint like the Shrek looking motherfucker he is.

Mr. and Mrs. Burjanadze are very proud of their "special" little guy.

While head coach, Atlanta legend and White Jesus 1.0 Nikola Mirotic has been heavily praised for his work involving and introducing the European players into the system, his ability to speak Spanglish doesn't really help the team in any way. Sources close to the Hawks organisation maintain that the team's training camp was quote "one of the weirdest things I've ever seen, and I've seen some weird shit". The team was in disarray, and a noticeable divide was forming in the playing group. The English speakers were growing frustrated with the Europeans' inability to tell "shoot" from "pass". All that, however, was about to change.

Atlanta's secret weapon is finally revealed.

Google Translate has been praised as saving the Atlanta franchise, as the coaches are now able to communicate with the team. GT, as the team affectionately calls it, has already been promoted to associate head coach, and many within the organisation are praising it as a godsend. Stumbled upon by GM Bannak during one of his late night "hot asian talent google searches", the application has revolutionised the way the team plays. Now they are able to run sets, discuss tactics, and devise defensive schemes.

"It's definitely changed the way we view international players," GM Bannak said when contacted for the story.

"Unless the arenas we visit turn off their WiFi. We're pretty much f--ked if that happens," he was quick to add, with a nervous laugh, before requesting ESPN not to print that specific quote.

The sky is seemingly the limit for this Atlanta team now that their communication problems have been solved. Currently sitting second in the Eastern Conference, despite an early injury to Artamonov, the team looks towards perhaps securing the first championship in the troubled franchise's history. They will be praying for good health and good signal strength as they push towards the playoffs.

[lakers209er]

Well I'm gonna turn off the wifi whenever my Pacers visits you now

[lakers209er]

On a serious note, I think all gm's should make creative articles like this about their teams. It's awesome to read lol