Post by BANNAK on Jul 13, 2015 5:27:17 GMT
Atlanta, Georgia.
Word has reached ESPN that the National Basketball Player's Association, led by President and former star Andrew Wiggins, has filed an official grievance with the NBA over the owner of the Atlanta Hawks, Kevin Keith Kingsley. Rumours had been circling the organisation for the better part of 15 years, with Mr. Kingsley having been spotted partying with the ashes of Donald Sterling, who we all remember tragically passed away in 2018 due to a heart attack caused by finding out his valet was a black man. It was later revealed Mr. Kinglsey, who likes to go by his initials K.K.K, was an intern with the Clippers organisation during Mr. Sterling's run as owner, and picked up, in his own words, "best practice" for managing a basketball team.
When looking at the history of the Hawks, it isn't hard to see, in hindsight, the flurry of moves that support this grievance. In the first year of Kingsley's reign as owner, the Hawks had a very successful basketball team. Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, Al Jefferson and Nikola Mirotic spear-headed the team's campaign for a championship. Yet all of this took a turn for the worse, with Dwyane Wade tearing a hamstring after being chased by Mr. Kingsleys racist relatives from Mississippi. The dream run ended, and Bosh, Wade and Al Jeff all retired. ESPN can now report that all three will submit statements corroborating the evidence provided by the NBPA against the Hawk's owner.
After the Mirotic era had concluded, the Hawks were at a fork in the road. After landing two lottery picks in a stacked draft, the Hawks selected Dan Issel, a favourite of Mr. Kingsley for his "outstanding body type" -- which we believe was not a compliment about his athletic ability. GM Bannak then attempted to trick the owner, drafting Charlie Scott, who the owner believed to be another white player. Obviously distraught by the selection, Kingsley demanded Scott be traded. In return, the Hawks received VJ King, who again, the owner believed to be a white player because of their similar surnames. Scott, feeling liberated, went on to have a tremendous career. King, subjected to playing for Kingsley, admitted to tanking.
"Yeah I f--king tanked, you'd tank too if you played for that leather skinned, teeth missing ---- of a f--king cucumber ----- ------ asshat" - VJ King, 2040.
While the Hawks enjoyed some success with Issel (he would go on to win the MVP), the team eventually fizzled out. GM Bannak, notably irritated by his owner's wishes, was determined to win, but at the same time, determined to keep his job.
Which is why the summer of 2035 was a blessing in disguise for Hawks fans.
Mr Kingsley, in one of his usual summer getaways to his home state of Alabama, came to an unfortunate fall during a sexual encounter with one of his numerous European mail order girlfriends. The man fell into a deep coma, one that they believed he would never wake up from. GM Bannak got to work.
With the 2nd pick that year, the Hawks selected Alonzo Mourning, and things were looking up. Now free to choose best players available, Bannak was able to construct a young and upcoming squad, centred around the frontcourt pairing of Bender and Mourning. They traded away a white superstar in Rick Barry, something which would have never been allowed if Kingsley was functioning. For five years, all seemed well. Until he woke up.
In June, 2039, Kingsley woke up. The day before the draft. He stormed into Bannak's office, demanding he take Peja Stojakovic with the 7th pick in the draft, despite the team being sold on taking Antoine Walker. The next year would prove to be turbulent. Klym Artamonov broke his leg trying to break up a fight between Alonzo Mourning and Kingsley, putting a damper on the Hawks season, when all was looking up. Bannak was determined to see Mourning retire as a member of the Hawks, but Kingsley had other ideas.
File photo of Hawk's owner Kingsley as a child: where did it go wrong?
Mourning was subsequently traded, and while Bannak wanted to make a move for Shaquille O'Neal, the owner had other ideas. In the end, Atlanta landed Dan Majerle and Beka, two more white players. The Hawks then selected Keith Van Horn with their first round selection, and Derek Anderson (whom was believed to be white, again) later in the lottery.
Mr. Kingsley's dream, the dream he shared with Donald Sterling, was now realised. Atlanta, in the year 2040, had an all-white starting line-up. Many of the team players were reached for comment.
Derek Anderson and Derek Fisher both secretly whispered "get me out of here".
Bender, Burjanadze, Artamonov and Stojakovic don't understand basic English, so their comments were broken and every second word was basketball.
More from this growing saga as developments come to light.
Word has reached ESPN that the National Basketball Player's Association, led by President and former star Andrew Wiggins, has filed an official grievance with the NBA over the owner of the Atlanta Hawks, Kevin Keith Kingsley. Rumours had been circling the organisation for the better part of 15 years, with Mr. Kingsley having been spotted partying with the ashes of Donald Sterling, who we all remember tragically passed away in 2018 due to a heart attack caused by finding out his valet was a black man. It was later revealed Mr. Kinglsey, who likes to go by his initials K.K.K, was an intern with the Clippers organisation during Mr. Sterling's run as owner, and picked up, in his own words, "best practice" for managing a basketball team.
When looking at the history of the Hawks, it isn't hard to see, in hindsight, the flurry of moves that support this grievance. In the first year of Kingsley's reign as owner, the Hawks had a very successful basketball team. Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, Al Jefferson and Nikola Mirotic spear-headed the team's campaign for a championship. Yet all of this took a turn for the worse, with Dwyane Wade tearing a hamstring after being chased by Mr. Kingsleys racist relatives from Mississippi. The dream run ended, and Bosh, Wade and Al Jeff all retired. ESPN can now report that all three will submit statements corroborating the evidence provided by the NBPA against the Hawk's owner.
After the Mirotic era had concluded, the Hawks were at a fork in the road. After landing two lottery picks in a stacked draft, the Hawks selected Dan Issel, a favourite of Mr. Kingsley for his "outstanding body type" -- which we believe was not a compliment about his athletic ability. GM Bannak then attempted to trick the owner, drafting Charlie Scott, who the owner believed to be another white player. Obviously distraught by the selection, Kingsley demanded Scott be traded. In return, the Hawks received VJ King, who again, the owner believed to be a white player because of their similar surnames. Scott, feeling liberated, went on to have a tremendous career. King, subjected to playing for Kingsley, admitted to tanking.
"Yeah I f--king tanked, you'd tank too if you played for that leather skinned, teeth missing ---- of a f--king cucumber ----- ------ asshat" - VJ King, 2040.
While the Hawks enjoyed some success with Issel (he would go on to win the MVP), the team eventually fizzled out. GM Bannak, notably irritated by his owner's wishes, was determined to win, but at the same time, determined to keep his job.
Which is why the summer of 2035 was a blessing in disguise for Hawks fans.
Mr Kingsley, in one of his usual summer getaways to his home state of Alabama, came to an unfortunate fall during a sexual encounter with one of his numerous European mail order girlfriends. The man fell into a deep coma, one that they believed he would never wake up from. GM Bannak got to work.
With the 2nd pick that year, the Hawks selected Alonzo Mourning, and things were looking up. Now free to choose best players available, Bannak was able to construct a young and upcoming squad, centred around the frontcourt pairing of Bender and Mourning. They traded away a white superstar in Rick Barry, something which would have never been allowed if Kingsley was functioning. For five years, all seemed well. Until he woke up.
In June, 2039, Kingsley woke up. The day before the draft. He stormed into Bannak's office, demanding he take Peja Stojakovic with the 7th pick in the draft, despite the team being sold on taking Antoine Walker. The next year would prove to be turbulent. Klym Artamonov broke his leg trying to break up a fight between Alonzo Mourning and Kingsley, putting a damper on the Hawks season, when all was looking up. Bannak was determined to see Mourning retire as a member of the Hawks, but Kingsley had other ideas.
File photo of Hawk's owner Kingsley as a child: where did it go wrong?
Mourning was subsequently traded, and while Bannak wanted to make a move for Shaquille O'Neal, the owner had other ideas. In the end, Atlanta landed Dan Majerle and Beka, two more white players. The Hawks then selected Keith Van Horn with their first round selection, and Derek Anderson (whom was believed to be white, again) later in the lottery.
Mr. Kingsley's dream, the dream he shared with Donald Sterling, was now realised. Atlanta, in the year 2040, had an all-white starting line-up. Many of the team players were reached for comment.
Derek Anderson and Derek Fisher both secretly whispered "get me out of here".
Bender, Burjanadze, Artamonov and Stojakovic don't understand basic English, so their comments were broken and every second word was basketball.
More from this growing saga as developments come to light.
